My name is Ramiro Gonzales and I am currently incarcerated on death row here in the Polunsky unit prison. I'm 5'2”, black eyes, black hair and I'm hispanic born and raised here in Texas. I was born on November 5, 1982 in a small town called Dilley, Texas. But was moved to Bandera Texas and raised by my grandparents.
I grew up on a ranch where my grandfather was employed. The ranch was a beautiful place full of cattle, horses, sheep and wild game, so my life was and adventures one. I really spent all my childhood in a box. In fact, looking back, all 18 years I spend in the free world I was alone. My family was always around, but no love was ever active. I guess they al thought there was no need for hugs and kisses and I love you's. They “my family” were the kind that believed we already knew we were loved, and therefore there was no need to express it. At the same time they worked so much and never really had time for us kids. I grew up in poverty, in every aspect. I did attend school, yet disliked it very much. I was always in trouble, and I believe it was cause I looked for attention, and therefore did, or broke all the rules so that people would think I was cool
In the end I found out who my friends really were and at the age of 11 I begun to smoke pot, and I really had been drinking for a few years prior to that. Somewhere between 12 or 13 years of age I had my first child, but because her mother was 6 years older that I she had took off because that's totally against the law. Today I still know nothing of my child. But I believe it might be for the best.
After my child was born life continued without her. While entering the stages of my adolescent things actually began to look a little better. I had finally received someone in my family who showed me the love I so craved. Loretta Marie Gonzales was my aunt by marriage and she almost adopted me as her own child. When I did wrong she told me about, and even became angry, but she always made sure she told me she love me afterwards.
When I did good she never failed to congratulate me and celebrated it as well. I'm sure you know how life is tough, when all is to good to be true, it really is. At the age of 16 my aunt had been killed by a drunk driver and my life died that day as well. All hope of accomplishing goals and achieving all my heart's desire was stripped from me.
I became heavily addicted to drugs and alcohol and closed myself away from all people. I spent the following two years in seclusion dealing with my pain the only way I knew how. I spent all the money I had ever saved on drugs, and when that was gone, I began to stal to support my habit.
Today, I'm 27 years old and seated here on death row, not because I belong or deserve to be here, I believe all happens for a reason, but because while under the influence of drugs and alcohol stupidity happened.
I'm back where I started. In poverty, in tears and loneliness. I'm in much hope that I could find some one to help me get through these troubled times. In an environment such as death row, it's very much dominated by depression and angry individuals. I strive to fight the both of these maladies because I refuse to be imprisoned from within. I totally have all hope and faith of freedom from this bondage one day, bug again, it helps to have a friend and support. In this place we are viewed as animals and were very much fed, ill treated and spoken to as if we were dogs.
I'm very much open if the other party is sincere. My friendships I take to heart and treat them as treasures. I'm honest and hate lies, yet my heart is big and love is real. In silence I enjoy poetry and writing, I hated school but today very much wish I could educate myself. Because I'm unable to do so in this place I very much enjoy reading to fill that spot.
I'm a very spiritual person and I totally live by integrity, self dignity, and self respect. I hope I qualify for someone's friendship.
Thank you so much for your time.
Ramiro Gonzales 999513 Polunsky Unit 3872 FM 350 South Livingston, TX, 77351 USA